Bobby Ruckers in

"Bobby Haunts A House"

Barbara Franz
Glenn Carnagey
Dietrich Kappe
Bebe Williams

Entire Script For Story #2 Used To Shoot Photos In Issue #2 Of Bobby Ruckers

Photography by David Gwathmey

Page 1

Large Title Panel - Panel #1 - 2/3 of page

Bobby (thinking) (while approaching a spooky-looking house with Ginger ): "Here it is Ginger, the most haunted house I could find! They say there's poltergeist activity such as throwing typewriters and other various temper tantrumed going-ons!"

Bobby: Apparently a former newspaper editor used to live here before he died!

Ginger: This is not the place I had in mind when you suggested we should spend some time together where we wouldn't see a single person!

Panel #2 1/6 page

Bobby: Well, you said that the magazine "Architectural Digest" wanted you to write an article for their upcoming special edition on haunted houses and that you needed to find one, so I found you one!

Bobby: What's the matter, suffering from Yellow Journalism?

Panel #3 1/6 page

Ginger: All writers suffer from Yellow Journalism when it comes to dealing with editors!

Ginger: But to answer your question, no, I'm not scared!

Ginger (thinking): I'll just pretend I'm in one of those Halloween Funhouses and I'll be okay!

Page 2

Panel #1 1/6 page

(They're inside the house, we see the open doorway in the background)

Ginger: So, how did you find out about this place? Do you have invisible business connections?

Bobby: No, I found it through a Real Estate agent rather than an Unreal Estate agent!

Panel #2 1/6 page

Ginger: Yuck, it sure is creepy, looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years!

Bobby: Layers of dust! Another home letting nature take its course!

Panel #3 1/6 page

Ginger: It's very quiet!

Bobby: Dead silence is the noise of ghosts!

Panel #4 1/6 page

Ginger: Do you hear that groaning sound?

Bobby: Not to worry, I believe we're walking around the section of the house that could be interpreted as being the stomach of the house.

Bobby: In other words, this used to be the dining room!

Panel #5 1/6 page

Bobby: I've brought along this camera to take pictures for you, shouldn't you be taking notes?

Ginger: Spiderweb curtains, dust aromas, greasy walls, believe me when I tell you.... this is all imbedded into my memory well beyond your imagination!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(a phone is ringing)

Ginger: Hard to believe there's phone service in this place! It has to be a wrong number?

Bobby: I have a Caller I.D. program in my computer-remote that works on any phone

I point it at!

Page #3

Panel #1 1/6 page


Bobby: It says its coming from the number #000-0000!

Ginger: It shouldn't be working at all, look, it's not plugged into the wall! (she's holding a wire)

Panel #2 1/6 page


Ginger: It's still ringing, but there's nothing but silence on the other end!

Ginger: It's just like you said, dead silence is the noise of ghosts!?

Bobby: I can't tell you what's going on here, the phone companies offer so many services nowadays that its hard to keep track of them all!

Panel #3 1/6 page

Caption: (Someone or something is stirred in a grave on the premises)

(We see a decayed looking hand coming out of the ground with a gravestone in the background)

Thought from the ground: Someone will pay for this interruption!

Panel #4 1/6 page


Bobby: Ignore the phone, I do it all the time in my office!

Bobby: Let's finish what we came here to do! Believe it or not, I rented us a room at a motel and its not my plan to spend the entire night chasing things that go bump in the night!

Panel #5 1/6 page

(We hear a moan)

Ginger: That's an awful sound!

Bobby: All old houses have aches and pains just like people when they get old!

Panel #6 1/6 page

Backyard Zombie: Moaan! My bones! Moaan!

Zombie (thinking): I'm way too old for this! Being undead is an awful way of life!

Page #4

Panel #1 1/6 page


Ginger: Wow, look! There's a typewriter floating all around this room, moving back and forth and back and forth! Do you think a ghost is doing this?

Bobby: My question is why would any ghost exert any type of physical exercise?

Panel #2 1/6 page

Bobby: Nope, this is not ghost driven, there's an anti-gravity disk glued underneath it!

Bobby: Simply a discarded probe in disguise left behind from someone's Time Machine! Most activities in these so-called haunted houses are probe related!

Panel #3 1/6 page


(close-up of Ginger holding paper that says "Get out or else.")

Ginger: If this is not a haunted typewriter, then why did it type this warning?

Bobby: It's probably a message to itself, but it could be for us!

Either way, it has the same meaning,....choose between staying or leaving! No big deal!

Panel #4 1/6 page

(Bobby ducking)

Bobby: Kinda dangerous though! I believe it doesn't take kindly to my computerized suit!

Ginger: It seems to be scanning you! Maybe you better take care of it!?

Panel #5 1/6 page

Bobby: Fast bugger! I keep missing it with my anti-anti-gravity beam and its typing 160 words a minute in the meantime!

Bobby: Plus its trying to disable my suit with some kind of Alzheimers program!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(panel shows Bobby & the probe shooting beams directly at each other)

Bobby: High noon at high midnight! And it appears to be a stalemate to me!

Ginger (thinking): Am I a writer or not? I'll take care of this typewriter!

Page #5

Panel #1 1/6 page

(Ginger hits the typewriter with a lamp, typewriter falls to the floor)

Ginger: Just think of me as the human equivalent of your correction ribbon!

(words on page inside typewriter say "oof!")

Panel #2 1/6 page

(Ginger is smashing typewriter with her foot)

Ginger: Look Bobby, this typewriter is now suffering from a permanent case of writer's block!

Ginger: Bobby?..........Are you okay?

Panel #3 1/6 page

Ginger: My poor Bobby! Did that typewriter screw up the memory in your suit?

Ginger (thinking): There must be some kind of restoration mechanism programmed into his remote, but I don't know how to work this thing!

Panel #4 1/6 page

Bobby Ghost: Don't mess with that! You don't know what that remote can do in this unpredictable state!....

Bobby Ghost (thinking): She can't hear me! Seems my suit has locked me out of my body just like it did at the Annual Superhero Awards Ceremony!

Panel #5 1/6 page

(panel of Bobby's body doing jumping jacks)

Bobby Ghost: I said don't do that!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): She can't see me either! She's turned on my daily 30 minute aerobics workout and it's running in expert mode!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): This is no good, maybe I can just go back into my body....I haven't tried that before!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(panel shows Bobby Ghost flying out of the roof of the house)

Bobby Ghost: Yoooowwwww!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Shell rejection of the third kind! Forget that idea!

Page #6

Panel #1 1/6 page

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Do my eyes deceive me or do I see a bonafied zombie approaching the back doorway of this house!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): I saw a whole a bunch of them working a graveyard shift inside a factory one time! These guys are really mean!

Panel #2 1/6 page

Bobby Ghost (thinking): I don't think Ginger is quite prepared to deal with a zombie of the opposite nature than the one she's dealing with now!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): In theory, I should be able to enter this mindless entity to stop his potential rage of destruction plus walk to my Bobby body & reinstate it back to normal!

Panel #3 1/6 page

(Bobby floating towards the zombie)

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Since the last time my suit conked out, I've created a variety of ways to undelete whatever causes application errors or frozen functionings!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): The only problem is that it takes physical functioning on my part to punch the buttons on my remote!

Panel #4 1/6 page

(Bobby is starting to enter the zombie's body)


Bobby Ghost (thinking): Feeling some resistance here, .... like trying to park a car where a car is already parked!

Zombie: Excuse me, but this space is occupied!

Panel #5 1/6 page

Bobby Ghost: Sorry, I thought you were a typical graveyard variety type zombie that wrecks havoc and eats humans!

Zombie: No, but if you want to be one, take your pick,. ...there's lots of other bodies buried over there to choose from!

Panel #6 1/6 page


Ginger (thinking): He's jumping around with no regard to our surroundings and is smashing everything in his path.

Bobby Body: 1, and a 2, and a 3, and a 4..........

Page #7

Panel #1 1/6 page Ring!

Ginger (thinking): This is a nightmare! Somehow this remote has given Bobby housewrecking abilities that are no different than those of a poltergeist!

Ginger: Stop it! This is not your house!

Panel #2 1/6 page

(Bobby Ghost with his head in the ground and his legs in the air)

Bobby Ghost (thinking): That spook occupying that dead body doesn't seem to pose a threat to anyone, probably wants to look around the house just like everybody else!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Hmmm, the body down here is in a coffin!

Panel #3 1/6 page

Bobby Ghost (thinking): This body's in a coffin, too!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Why do they put bodies in these things anyway, it's not like they're going to get up and walk away!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Uh,...I retract that last statement!

Panel #4 1/6 page

Bobby Ghost (thinking): This body should work, its coffin is made out of cheap plywood and is all rotted!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Appropriate name on the tombstone ....... Gopher!

Panel #5 1/6 page

( panel shows the gravesite) ( Bobby is in the ground & we don't see him)

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Easy transition! Quite a special occasion,'s not often for someone to remember their "zero" birthday!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(Bobby's hand is coming out of the ground)

Bobby Zombie (thinking): I wonder if any real zombies are vegetarians?

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Probably not, I think in their given state there's a real protein deficiency problem!

Page #8

Panel #1 1/6 page

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Limited cerebral power! The brain in this body is in such bad shape, I'm reverting to a typical 10% usage used by normal people!

Panel #2 1/6 page

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Moving too slow! But I'm moving faster than that other possessed body!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): I guess his body has been dead longer than this one!

Panel #3 1/6 page


(Bobby Zombie pushing aside the other zombie inside the doorway)

Bobby Zombie: Excuse me, but you were blocking the doorway!

Zombie: Hey!...that body moves real good! I guess I overlooked that one!

Panel #4 1/6 page

Bobby Zombie: I have a natural instinct to take the best this world has to offer!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): I need to get to that remote to install my backup program hidden on Drive Z!

Panel #5 1/6 page



Ginger (thinking): Ooh, using this remote is frustrating! Now he has his arms out in front of himself while he's twirling his hands!

Ginger (thinking): Poor Bobby's all mixed up! He thinks he's knitting a sweater!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(We see Bobby Zombie approaching Ginger from behind, the other Zombie is further in the background)

Bobby Zombie (thinking): I see the suit is still running physical activities programs! Looks like it's in my custom Expert Fighters program!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Out of all the fighters available in this program, why did she choose Curley of the Three Stooges?

Page #9

Panel #1 1/6 page


Bobby Zombie (thinking): Seeing myself like this has made me so mad that I've grinded my teeth too hard and they're all falling out!

Panel #2 1/6 page

Bobby Zombie: *Gingrrr...if's mee, bobee! (*Ginger, it's me, Bobby!)

Ginger: Eeeeek! Zombies! I thought I smelt formaldehyde!

Panel #3 1/6 page

(Ginger frozen in place screaming)


Ginger: Eeeeek! (Her hair is sticking out)

Bobby Zombie: *Thop theming, yur making mu booms rezonate! (*Stop screaming, you're making my bones resonate!)

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Do I need speech therapy or what?

Panel #4 1/6 page

Zombie (thinking): Oh cripes, I'm walking into a room full of drunken lunatics! It looks like a bar room brawl has just taken place!

Panel #5 1/6 page

(Ginger has passed out)

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Passed out!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Some of us are out cold and some of us are in cold!

Panel #6 1/6 page


Bobby Zombie (thinking): I can't pry the remote from her hand!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Rigor mortis versus rigor mortis?

Page #10

Panel #1 1/6 page

(We see Bobby Body's hands hitting Bobby Zombie on the back of his head)

Bobby Zombie (thinking): Now I'm in limbo about what to do?

Bobby Zombie: Oof!

Panel #2 1/6 page

(Bobby Body is doing a foot shuffle)


Bobby Body: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): I'm.......uh.....He's doing the Curley Shuffle! Nice footwork, I have to remember to add this part of the Curley program to my Dance program choices!

Panel #3 1/6 page

(panel of zombie passing Bobby Body and Bobby Zombie)

(we see the Bobbies from the waist up in the foreground)


Bobby Zombie (thinking): He's smearing me and with good reason! I reviewed all of the episodes of the Three Stooges in which Curley and Moe duked it out and statistics showed me they were equally matched!

Panel #4 1/6 page

Bobby Zombie (thinking and getting smeared): Curley won 50 matches and Moe won 50 matches!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): But then the tie was broken because I found the all important missing Lost Episode!

Panel #5 1/6 page

Bobby Zombie (thinking): So, in homage to the best comedic style of fighting that ever existed, the Curley program is an important addition to my Superpowers!

Bobby Zombie (thinking): And he's smearing me, not surprisingly, since it's fairly easy to whip a dead person!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(panel shows Bobby Body on the floor and Bobby Ghost is coming out of the body)


(We see the zombie approaching the telephone)

Bobby Ghost (thinking): Useless! All of the bones are broken!

Bobby Ghost (thinking): This dead body is completely dead!

Page #11

Panel #1 1/6 page

(Zombie answers the telephone)

Zombie: Hello, it's about time you called! Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?

Zombie: Six hours! So, what's the idea of transporting me to the wrong place? Is this how you treat all of your first class customers?

Panel #2 1/6 page

Zombie: I'm suppose to be at work! I don't enjoy being transported to the wrong location, especially to some primitive environment where there's no empty android for me to move around normally.

Zombie: You can bet my lawyers are going to hear about this!

Panel #3 1/6 across

Bobby Ginger (Bobby is inside her body): I can't believe it, with Ginger out cold it was easy to take over her body!

Bobby Ginger: Hey, this is the wrong remote!

Panel #4 1/6 across

Bobby Ginger: Actually, it's the right remote, but the wrong business suit!

Bobby Ginger: My Bobby Body is wearing the suit I sleep in every night! I must have forgotten to change this morning when I woke up!

Panel #5 1/3 of page

(We see the zombie starting to fall to the floor while a ghostly electronic energy is travelling into the phone receiver from the zombie)

Voice from the telephone: I hope you're taking me to the right destination this time!

Voice: And I hope you're serving meals on this flight, this stupid ordeal has left me really hungry!

Page #12

Panel #1 1/6 page

(Ginger pointing the remote at Bobby Body)

Bobby Ginger: Simple remedy! Clicking it off will restore everything back to normal!

Bobby Body: Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

Panel #2 1/6 page

(Bobby going back into his body)

Bobby (thinking): A simple out-of-body inexperience!

Bobby (thinking): I should have recognized what was going on automatically because of all of the surreality in effect!

Panel #3 1/6 page

Bobby (looking around and thinking): No zombies, no ringing telephone, no room trashing, no typewriter, and no Ginger?

Bobby: Ginger, where are you?

Panel #4 1/6 page

Ginger: Bobby? Uh, I'm over here, uh, are you okay now?

Ginger: Oh, of course you are! I must have fallen asleep!

Panel #5 1/6 page

Ginger: I had this awful nightmare! I've never had a dream like that before where everything seemed so real!

Bobby (thinking): That's because my Lucid Dream State program was running in full conscious mode and it affects anyone that happens to be within my immediate environment!

Panel #6 1/6 page

(panel shows Zombies walking and approaching the house outdoors)

Bobby (thinking): Thank goodness this wide-awake subconscious state has no real side effects on normal people!

End Of "Stories Of Ruckers" Vol.1 No.1 Winter Issue 1995 Bebe Williams

Back to Bobby's Home Page

Email: Bebe Williams at

File Generated on February 28, 1995

1995 Bebe Williams